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Reality?? or Fantasy??

By: mstigger
Which would you chose??

Does the world of fantasy excite you?? Do you crave the unknown?? Is there something in your life missing?? If you answered yes to any of these... be careful, you may not know what you are getting into.

Oh good! You have that computer that you have wanted for ever...you hear the Internet is THE best thing since sliced bread. Just can't wait to log on and 'SURF' as you have been told. Wow...surfing the internet...what lies ahead???? Lot's of things... but the question is:

Can you keep Reality and Fantasy apart??

You grab your friend who's been 'online' for ever and BEG to know and be taught everything. Sure, the friend is overjoyed... shows you this and that... how to 'SURF' and find things...BUT the thing you've wanted the MOST... the CHAT ROOMS!!

So you throw a chat program on your computer... Yahoo, Comic, Pirch, mIRC, hey why not...EVERYONE is doing it.

Ahhhh you find rooms for your every need and kink. Ohh and that person is talking to you EVERY TIME.... they say they 'watch' for your nick so that the two of you can go into a private chat. Soon you are 'watching' for them too...and begin to speak ONLY to them as your life goes on... you seem to be more into the 'friends' online rather than your friends in Real Life.

If you have rough day... it's your 'friends' online that help you get through it. If your children are out of control... it's your 'friends' online that help you. OH and if that Significant Other is just sooooooo Non Understanding , (you know, can't talk to them, they won't leave you alone to be on the puter) well ----- your friends online know what to do and what to say.

But, are they helping you?? Really??? Or are they destroying your Real Life and World?? Without you even knowing??

And now you're finding all your senses alive.. you're being mass messaged by ALL these people.. they're telling you how much they want you and how beautiful you are. But, that SPECIAL one.. is telling you everything you could want to hear.. in the exact way you want to hear it. You're in love.. the promise of all your dreams coming true. The promise of living happily ever after in your deepest hottest fantasy..

Example 1:

Young woman enters the world of CHAT, finds a channel to fit her sexual preferences. Makes lots of friends, and enjoys the new found friendships. But what is really going on?? In the channels the talk in basic.. 'where you from, how old are you, how long you been online' but behind the scenes... the private chats the more down to earth or heart to heart chats....A bit more personal---within a week phone numbers and addresses are exchanged (yes, she had been warned NOT to give those out this soon) then the claim of LOVE, yes LOVE, all within one week. She is told by R/L friends not to do this you don't the other person, but she isn't listening. The person from the chat sends her a ONE WAY ticket to their town, she still doesn't listen, so with heavy hearts her friends let her go. While online the other person kept telling her that she sounded just like what she was looking for... and deep down was falling in love.... they spoke of looks and age and all the necessary stuff.... once she was there.... the other person looked at her and said 'I don't like the way you look you need to leave' Within the first 12 hours she is there she finds out that this isn't what she thought and can't wait to get home. This one ended fine. However, she did this five more times. Each one getting a bit harsher. She even brought two of them to her house. Wrong thing to do. One she had come stay with her... and during the course of the two week period she was put through enough pain, physically and mentally, that people had to step in to help. But it didn't change anything. She again did it, this time leaving the state, and in the process of being hurt by this one, she also lost most of her Real Life friends who couldn't endure any more. How do I know this??? She used to be my best friend.

Example 2:

Young woman, in a relationship that has been dead for the past year or so. Has her own business, two teenage children, enters a 'sexually oriented' room. Engrossed in a new world that has opened up to her she begins to 'experiment' with this lifestyle and begins to meet some from the channel. Not a good idea... here she is in a very uncomfortable situation and in a position that if anything happens to her....no one would know. Why?? Because she lied to her family as to where and why she was going. Her experience not only scarred her emotionally, but scared her so badly that she NEVER again meets people from her 'channel' unless it is in a large group. However, a year and a half later, she again meets someone online, but not from the 'sexually oriented' channels. This time after talking to this one person for about 2 months off and on and then for one month at about 12 hours a day, she flies 3000 miles to meet him. Dumb??? YES!! Now that she looks back on it. However, this turned out good. She is now married and has her children with her. She is one of the lucky ones. How do I know this???? I am her.

Example 3:

This one is the one that hit me hard. Another woman, has 2 beautiful children. Typical marriage, husband works, she just graduated from a trade school, now working. Yes they have problems, communication is one of them...but the other is that the computer has taken over the 'family' time. She tries to say no it's not but you can see it is. So arguements arise, he storms off acting childish, she consoles herself with the internet chats. After being 'shown' the 'sexually oriented' rooms she finds herself becoming wrapped up in them. After months of relying on other peoples advice and being convinced to 'try it out' she decides that no amount of counseling will work on her marriage...nor does she want to try any longer. She is ending the marriage and taking the children around 1500 miles away to be with a man she has spoke to on the phone and on line. Into a lifestyle that she claims she has knowledge of, but yet I fear has no knowledge of what is to come. Is there anything anyone can do?? Unfortunately the answer is no. My heart breaks on this one. Why???? Because I am the one who introduced her to the world of the internet. I am the one that showed her the 'channels'. You see, she is my best friend of 10 years and I am so afraid for her I cry every time I think about what she is doing, and knowing that if I hadn't shown her, maybe, this wouldn't be happening.

I have other stories I could share...Ones of literal abuse once the people met, and ones of being taken forcibly away from the family and life that they once knew. But this isn't about that. I just wanted to point out to all those who start 'surfing' the internet and think that this can't happen to you, IT CAN. IT DOES.

I know that I personally am not responsible for other's actions. But I do feel and carry the guilt. This is something I am working on and by writing this and letting others know that life on the Internet is fun you have to make the dissertation between REALITY and FANTASY.

I no longer give out my phone number or address or real name to people I only talk to casually. Yes there are a few that do know who I am and where I am. But that is after a year and a half of talking and emailing.

I'm not telling anyone how to run their lives.... just to be careful who you interact with. It may be the best thing that ever happens to you or then again...it may be the worst.

With much emotion, huggles and snuggles,

mstigger