This will be an attempt to help you find some answers and make some contacts

First things first.. you've no doubt done alot of reading and fantasizing about what you'd like. There are as many different types of Dominants out there as there are people. Personalities and styles come in a wide range. Decide how You want to be treated: coldly? lovingly and tenderly? somewhere in between?.. as a toy? as an animal? what are your fetishes and fantasies? How do you feel about pain? Humiliation?

Take a look at the texts on negotiations and checklists and get an idea of what you want. Also check out the information at my safety page, as it has many links to invaluable information.

I meet many new male subs online all the time, and when asked what type of Dominant they seek, they say "I don't care".. "anything". I know the need to submit can be strong, but it's not much of a compliment to a Dominant if you chose them only because they were Dominant. Mistress Steel has written a wonderful text Finding Your Dominant! another great essay, is On Courting A Dominant Woman by Laura Goodwin... be sure to check out the other great essays on her site.

Choose a nickname. If you are going to interact with people online, you'll probably want to come up with a name to be known as. It should be somewhat unique so you can be recognized when you come back a second time. "malesub" and any nickname like that are so common that they make no impression at all.

Talk to People. If you are on IRC, #FemDom is a wonderful channel for learning about Female Dominance. This channel can be found on Dalnet. Please be sure to check out the #Femdom Homepage. There are also many many email discussion lists and perhaps the best place to look would be to do a search at Yahoo Groups

Don't only talk to Dominants though, and not only to Female Dominants.. talk to other male subs. There are many out there who feel the same as you do and who've been down this same road. Let their experiences and insights help you find what you seek. Dominants can answer questions about what they seek in submissives and their views of Domination and submission. Take everything you hear with a grain of salt. Everyone has an opinion, and many think they know what the "ONE TRUE WAY" is. Keep in mind that everyone is different and what works for one person or situation may not work for you.

Some articles that I feel would be good to read, Perspectives of a Male Submissive by bob harris regarding real life BDSM relationships and Reflecting on Submission, Confessions of a Male Sub By slavebrad.

Read the Newsgroups. alt.sex.femdom and soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm are two of the best. If your browser isn't able to read mail and news, do a search on Google Groups formerly Deja News.. and don't hesitate to ask questions! No question is considered "stupid" as long as it's asked in a polite manner. As many people have a need to answer with what they consider to be humor, try not to take offense. Usually there will be someone or several people who will step forward to answer the question seriously... and that's how we all learned.. by asking questions.
In either of these situations, the last thing you want to do is to start out by asking for a Mistress. Advertising can start you off not being taken seriously.

Be Yourself. Submissives are not submissive to everyone. You don't need to act submissive to those you don't know.. only to those who you specifically agree to submit to. Many channels on IRC require you to call everyone who's representing themselves as Dominant "Sir" or "Ma'am". In the real world, that's not expected or desired, so don't feel you should. You don't have to put on any kind of act to find a good Dominant, and in fact.. most good Dominants are looking for personality and humor in a submissive.. and someone who has opinions and strength.

Meet People. If it's possible for your situation, find a local group and attend a munch. Munches are get togethers of people with experience or interest in BDSM. they are casual get-togethers for either lunch or dinner, and it's a wonderful time to meet people in a low-key atmosphere. No one attends in Fetish attire, and there usually is no outward sign of what the group's common interest is. Most use "Computer users group" as the excuse for the meeting, and in fact, that is often one of the main topics of conversation, though talk will range over a wide variety of subjects. At a munch, you are not required to take active part in the conversations, but usually the people are so warm and welcoming that you can't help but join in the talk. It's a great chance to meet others just as people, not Doms or subs. there's a good list of local groups and contacts on my Organizations Page, as well as links to other sites with information on many more groups that don't have email or web sites available.

Have Patience. Just as finding the right partner for any other kind of relationship takes time, a BDSM one does too. While you search for the right Dominant, study.. read.. ask the questions and find the answers that work for you. Learn about health, safety, and what others have been through. Try to keep in mind that there are wonderful Dominants out there, but there are also those with a hatred of men and/or abusive tendencies who find the BDSM community a place to seek victims. Check out these 2 Great sites specifically for male subs - Celebrate Male Submission with Resources, MaleFAQ's, Pictures, Stories, and chat with it's new section for mature (over 55) men.

I'm constantly on the look out for resources for male submissives since I know so many of them, so check back often. If you know of good articles about and for male submission, please Let me know

Best of luck in your search!